The Usual Suspects

by Sara Robinson

Seven days since the Foley scandal broke, and the list of GOP-designated Official Scapegoats is already almost a dozen strong and still growing. So far, the list of possible fall guys and gals includes all the usual suspects, plus a few original ones:

The Democrats
CREW
The GOP Gay Cabal
The Catholic Church
Nancy Pelosi
Eve Ensler
Bill Clinton (yes, it's a stretch, but they couldn't walk away from it on a bet)
Booze
Porn
Tolerance and diversity training
The pages themselves

Or maybe it's nobody's fault. Apparently, if you're a Republican, this behavior can simply be considered normal. In that case: what's all the fuss about, anyway?

So far, they're only missing evolution, abortion, Al Qaida, and the International Zionist Conspiracy. Oh, yeah, and Denny Hastert and Tom Reynolds. But deflecting blame from them is the whole point of the exercise, so I doubt we'll be hearing much about them.

If you come across any more Usual Suspects to add to this list, drop 'em in the comments.

Final Update, Monday 10/9

OK, here's the full and complete list of Those To Be Blamed that our intrepid commenters have aggregated so far:

The Democrats
CREW
The GOP Gay Cabal
The Catholic Church
Nancy Pelosi
Eve Ensler
Bill Clinton
Booze
Porn
Tolerance and diversity training
The pages themselves
Their parents
The Liberal Media and
George Soros who not only counts for himself but also
The International Zionist Conspiracy

And the full list of Suspects To Be Named Later includes:

Evolution
Abortion
Immigration
Secular Humanism
Feminism
Iran
Canada
Al Qaida
The NAACP
Organized labor
The Freemasons
The UN Oil for Food program
Hybrid Cars
Industrial Hemp
Hugo Chavez
Lesbians
Witches
Harry Potter

Even if they don't get to all these scapegoats this time (though you're doing a great job, GOP -- keep up the good work!), keep this list handy for future scandals!