Thursday, October 28, 2004

The clone army

Sure, everyone's enjoying a chortle or two over Bush's clone army.

Pretty soon, the truth will come out: Those images weren't photoshopped. Those really were clones! Bwah ha ha ha ha.

Go ahead, laugh. Call it a lunatic fringe conspiracy theory if you like. You'll see. You'll be sorry someday.

See, there's already been talk within GOP ranks about using a clone army to solve the Iraq manpower problem. Why, it sounds brilliant to me.

Matt Taibbi reported this a couple of weeks ago in Rolling Stone, in his piece about going undercover inside the Bush campaign:
In my first month on the campaign, I did not meet many people who came into the office with the serious intention of working hard for the president. I did, however, meet a great many very lonely people who came in because they knew the Bush offices were the one place where they could share certain deeply held ideas without being ridiculed.

Part of my job, I soon came to understand, was to be supportive when people like portly Tampa sheriff's deputy Ben Mills came in to share their very serious utopian ideas -- like the benefits of having a society guarded by a clone army. "We'd save a hell of a lot on benefits and medical expenses," he said. " 'Cause you know if they got wounded..."

"You could just shoot them," I said.

"Exactly -- pow! Just shoot 'em dead, right in the ground."

He went on.

"We'd just have a big breeding farm in Colorado," he said. "Course, it'd be a security problem if they got out, you know, if you had rogue clones running around. You'd have to have a special security force to maintain 'em."

"That's where folks like us would come in," I said.

"Exactly," he said.

Folks like us. I was getting the hang of it.

Sound like Sheriff Mills has been having an audience with the Strong and Resolute One Himself.

Maybe that'll be Bush's secret plan for winning the election: Clone voters!

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